Doug Mainwaring is the co-founder of the National Capital Tea Party Patriots. Writing at Public Discourse he chronicles knowing that he was gay at age eight. Avoiding “social isolation” prompted him to eventually marry his soulmate, a women. They had a family, and the way it happened will touch you in a very familiar way if you are a Mom or a Dad. He and his soulmate eventually divorced. Ten years later: “we began to pull our family back together.” Mr. Mainwaring says his story and his attitudes have nothing to do with tradition or religion. Here are a few snippets.
Neither religion nor tradition turned me into a dedicated father. It was something wonderful from within—a great strength that has only grown with time. A complete surprise of the human spirit. In this way and many others, marriage—my bond with the mother of my children—has made me a much better person, a person I had no idea I had the capacity to become….
At first, I felt liberated. I dated some great guys, and was in a couple of long-term relationships. Over several years, intellectual honesty led me to some unexpected conclusions: (1) Creating a family with another man is not completely equal to creating a family with a woman, and (2) denying children parents of both genders at home is an objective evil. Kids need and yearn for both…
After rejoining his family:
There are perhaps a hundred different things, small and large, that are negotiated between parents and kids every week. Moms and dads interact differently with their children. To give kids two moms or two dads is to withhold from them someone whom they desperately need and deserve in order to be whole and happy. It is to permanently etch “deprivation” on their hearts…
We are in the middle of a fierce battle that is no longer about rights. It is about a single word, “marriage.”
Two men or two women together is, in truth, nothing like a man and a woman creating a life and a family together. Same-sex relationships are certainly very legitimate, rewarding pursuits, leading to happiness for many, but they are wholly different in experience and nature.
Mr. Mainwaring supports civil unions. His article is thoughtful and touching. His bottom line is, he believes children need both a Mother and a Father, and I believe he is saying not having that advantage will have consequences. I hope you will read it here. Thanks to my littlest brother ♥ who forwarded this story to me.