This May Be A Little Simplistic….

…But it is worth a little laugh.

Sent via Facebook:

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or a Southerner????

Here is a little test that will help you decide!!!!

The answer will be found by posing the following question:

You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,

raises the knife, and charges at you….

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?


THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:


Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.

Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

This is all so confusing!

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

Southerner’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!  BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Click….. (Sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

BANG!

Click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy!  Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’


Wife:
‘You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!

Linked at Si Vis Pacem in “Why we love Findalis.” Findalis is the lovely and gutsy lady who has been blogging here (and does so regularly) while I’ve been away. Visit her great site at Monkey in the Middle.

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  • W.C Taqiyya

    Well, it’s a funny post. But, a real southerner and expert shot with the 1911 would shoot the guy in the knee, take him captive and make him his slave. After neutering the terrorist, the owner would employ him to slop the pigs, gather firewood and keep the fires going under the still. See? Slavery ain’t so bad.

  • http://conservativesonfire.wordpress.com Jim at Conservatives on Fire

    Sure do like dem good o’l boys!

  • Xavier

    I was raised in the Capitol of the Confederacy and don’t get the joke.

    Isn’t there supposed to be a punch line?

    ;)

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  • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

    C’mon, Maggie! You could have at least given the Republican a double tap!

    • http://antzinpantz.com/kns/ BobF

      Proof, with a .45, no need to double tap.

      • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

        I’m from the Massad Ayoob school on this one. He cited a study a while back, that when an assailant comes at you with a gun or knife, that for some reason, your first shot tends to hit whatever they’re holding.

        Besides, anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice!

  • Ronald J. ward

    Kinda in a rather grasping Democrat bashing mode aren’t you? The head explosions from Nov 6 has made me chuckle.

    • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

      Ron: This joke has been around a while, and like most humor, needs a certain element of truth to “work”. This one works. (Many liberals are humor impaired, so you might not have noticed.)

      “The head explosions from Nov 6 has (sic) made me chuckle.” Speaking of heads, if anyone has a head for chuckles, Ron, it’s you.

      • Ronald J. ward

        It seems that every blog has its resident troll, someone content on getting in the last word while avoiding relevant questions (Does belittling add credence to your rebuttal?). Obviously Proof, you’ve filled that position.

        • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

          The kids in school called you “Back”, didn’t they? Put forth a question worth replying to and I’ll consider it.

  • W.C Taqiyya

    Ron, it’s awesome that you almost recognize humor when you see it. I hope you will still be chuckling when all of the public union pensions go belly up and all that worthless international debt the banks have been buying from Spain, Italy, Greece, etc. with multi-leveraged, borrowed and mostly imaginary assets comes crashing down. Did I mention the trillion dollar college loan default already in progress and well past it’s tipping point? No matter, if you are fortunate, in a dark humor sort of way, you will be so busy singing the praises of your false lord and savior Obama to notice. So, keep chuckling, because even starvation has it’s humorous aspects.

    • Ronald J. Ward

      Proof, “Many liberals are humor impaired”? Ron has a “head for chuckles”? Does belittling add credence to your rebuttal?

      W.C., I will be “so busy singing the praises of your (my) false lord and savior Obama to notice”? You seem in impute opinions of me that I do not have or that you would have no way to know I have as I haven’t expressed them orally or in my writings. This seems to be the norm of so many right wing bloggers today. It’s as if you have to kowtow to every GOP agenda lest you praise Obama as a god or such. You must insist that Mother Earth is begging for more fuel fossils lest you are a tree hugging hippy from hell. You must adamantly denounce unions and any corporate regulation lest you be an un-American anti-capitalist communist. And of course, you must genuflect to the NRA on every front lest you be an anti-constitutional, cowardly, naive pansy.

      So while I’ll concede my 1st post was a bit snarky, you actually validated my point.

      • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

        a)”Many liberals are humor impaired” True. Since you demonstrate the latter shall we presume you are the former?

        b) Notice I didn’t call you a “chucklehead”, Chuckles. I implied it. It was funnier that way. Which you might have noticed except for a)

  • http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/ woodsterman

    I’m a proud member of the Redneck branch of the Southern Family. The only thing I would have done differently is I would wrap that son of a bitch’s face in bacon so the press could spread the word what happens to terrorists.

    • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

      And waste perfectly good bacon??? I’m surprised your momma never taught you better than that! Heh.

      • http://findalismonkeyinthemiddle.blogspot.com/ findalis

        There is always Pig’s Blood.

        • http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/ proof

          Agreed! Less wasteful. Doesn’t go nearly as well with eggs and toast!

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