Book of Obama
It was upon the 11th day of the hot month of August in the year 2012. Two weeks before the congregation of the Republicans were to meet and proclaim their choice for leader. The Anointed One has accused the soon to be proclaimed of every crime that a person can commit. The Good Romney was accused of lying, and stealing, not paying of taxes (The worst crime to The Anointed One.), and the murder of a woman by giving her cancer. He said that The Good Romney poisoned the wells of non-Mormons and killed their children for their rituals in their temples. He demanded that The Good Romney show all of his tax returns and open his temples.
The Good Romney shook his head and laughed. “I will NOT give you any thing but a headache.” He proclaimed. Then he went to Virginia (A state that both need to win.) and aboard the Battleship USS Wisconsin (Iowa-class), The Good Romney declared his choice for a Running Mate.
I bring to you my people a man who cares about the future of this nation.
A man who will help restore our dignity, our rights, our fiscal responsibility.
A man with Conservative values and honest ideals.
My choice for my running mate, your next Vice President:
Ryan the Bold.
The crowd roared with approval. The choice was bold. The choice was the right one. For The Good Romney had brought the debate back to the economy. The Good Romney has given the nation a true choice. Freedom or Slavery.
Upon the platform Ryan the Bold appeared and the crowd burst into a roar. He then spoke:
I come to help restore this land.
To bring it back to civility.
To bring it back to rigorousness.
To bring it back to fiscal responsibility.
We cannot keep spending The People’s Money without a thought to the future.
We cannot keep spending The People’s Money without a budget to curb expenses.
We must curb our entitlement programs.
Our rights come from Nature and G-d, not Government!
This is a truth that all Americans know, even if they do not wish to acknowledge it,
The Anointed One laughed with glee. The Good Romney chose the man they wanted him to have. Too Conservative for the nation. A man who He believes will destroy everything The Anointed One has created. He will destroy Ryan the Bold. And the attacks had begun.
The pundits who worshiped The Anointed One reminded the world of how out-of-date Ryan the Bold is. How his ideas of government would throw their Grannies over the cliff. How he would take food and shelter from the poor. Of how he beats his wife and kicks puppies.
But let the truth be told. The Anointed One has no record to run on. The economy of the land is in shambles. The price of gas is rising. The price of food is so high that soon the whole land will be forced to either starve or take the stamps of food. The Anointed One has been a failure.
With two weeks to his proclamation to the Leader of the Republicans, The Good Romney has changed the direction of this election. It is a choice between Right and Wrong, Black and White, Good and Evil.
Monkey in the Middle is proud to endorse for the Presidency and Vice Presidency of the United States:
Willard Mitt Romney and Paul Davis Ryan