Some 49.5% of American entitleists and all persons from Muslim countries will line up to receive this hat created exclusively for Barack Obama’s re-election campaign. The thought is, ‘get a free hat’ and the $3 donations roll in. Non-entitleists are already offended. I had a phone call: “Maggie, 50.5% of Americans paid taxes for at least 10 years. They are NOT entitleists!” Readers, I know you want me to name my sources, but that’s the best you’ll get from me. “It’s “not a figment of my imagination.” Now, do I know that that’s true? Well, I’m not certain.
“So the word’s out. A new Executive Order requires no proof to show a need for an unemployment check, but we have to protect the 49.5%. Obama needs to know you are his, and that you understand his all important foreign policy, and a bit about how this country came to be. The only qualification necessary is to repeat the following litany three times, quickly (no worries – you can read it):
Islam is not part of the problem…it’s part of promoting peace
The Muslim prayer at sunset is the prettiest sound on earth
I also know civilization’s debt to Islam
Whatever we once were, we are no longer a Christian Nation
They get bitter, they cling to guns or religion
Those opposed to abortion cannot simply invoke God’s will
They didn’t build that
Now, bow from the waist, face facing the floor. The entitleist hat is yours.