Cross posted by Findalis of Monkey in the Middle
And it came to pass that on the 20th day of the month of January. At a time when all is dead and dying. The Anointed One took over the High Office from Bush the Younger (The Ignorant). Amid the hosts of Heaven, singing the mantra Yes We Can, The Anointed One started his trip down the Avenue of Pennsylvania towards the Dome of the Capital.
Along the path, hordes of the faithful were chanting the mantra: Hope, Change. And the Anointed One smiled.
Upon the steps of the Dome of the Capital, amid the assorted assemblage of the chapter of the Congress, Biden the Bungler was sworn as the lessor. Then the Holy Chief of Justice, John of Roberts, given his office by Bush the Lessor, came forward to invest upon the Anointed One the mantle of office. The power of the Anointed One’s aura was so bright, so illuminating, that it cause the Holy Chief to stumble the words of investiture. But The Anointed did not stubble and waited until the Holy Chief calmed and continued on.
And after this holy act, the musicians played, and the assembled multitude cheered in triumph. And there was great rejoicing.
The Anointed One, now as the Wearer of the Mantle of Power, stood before the assembled and spoke.
He spoke about the need for change upon the land.
He spoke about how great the land once had been.
He spoke about how each man must carry his own weight.
And He spoke about how the government will carry the weight for all.
He spoke the words of faith.
He spoke the words of brotherhood.
He spoke the words of charity.
How He will use these to bless the land.
He spoke to the friends in lands far away.
He told them that he would take their troubles away.
He spoke words of anger at those who would attack,
He spoke to the enemies in lands we do not mention.
He spoke to the Christians, the Jews and Hindus.
He spoke to the Muslims with words of love and hope.
He told all the world that He would lead them.
And all around the multitude shouted Hope, Change!
He condemned the actions of his predecessor, Bush the Younger.
Told the world that what the Younger accomplished He would undo.
Upon to our enemies, they laugh with glee. For they know the fool that He is. They haven’t felt this secure, or have been this gleeful since the days of Dhimmi the Carter. For they see in His words that they will win. For He will sell out our friends to them.
And after the speech He went into the Dome, to feast on seafood, duck and apples.
Then the bands played and the multitude cheered as the parade marched. The Anointed One watched and blessed them all.
The great and the mighty danced the night away. Secure in the dogma of liberal and socialism.
To the rest of the nation while some actual hope. The rest of pray:God Save Us All.